I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
