We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
