we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
