I'm really into asian looking animals
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
