I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
