I hate your face
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
