Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
