so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
