if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
