i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Enjoy the penises
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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