I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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