does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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