Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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