Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
