First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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