and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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