I CAN MOONWALK!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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