you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
