My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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