Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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