she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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