u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
