plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
