So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
