My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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