Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
