evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
