I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
