the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
