It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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