this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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