He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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