This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
