Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
