My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
