You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
