he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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