woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
