I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
