Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
