I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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