made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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