i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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