She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
