I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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