It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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