I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
