Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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