alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
