I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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